Leaving Your Job Can Be Messy
This is a recap of our town hall event in New York City held on August 31st, 2016.
As ambitious women of New York, even if you’re happy with your job, you always have your eye on the horizon. However, knowing when and how to get the heck out of your job, and onto the next one, can be a challenge – and potentially messy. That’s why this month we decided to dedicate our town hall (and subsequent workshop) to the topic of departures, as bittersweet as they may be.
This town hall was hosted at Auxiliary, thanks to our partners at Working Not Working as well as Core Water, Runa and Capsule Cares for providing the beverages and goodies.
We learned a lot from the honest stories women shared at this town hall; sometimes you have to hear the harsh truth before making your move out the door, sometimes the bridges you burn light the way, and you certainly can’t kick ass if you don’t lift up your foot. Perhaps the biggest lesson was to give yourself headspace to make your decision from a place of introspection and self-love rather than fear.
KEY TAKEAWAYS INCLUDE:
BABY BEAR SYNDROME
Beware! This syndrome comes into effect when you join a company at the bottom of the food chain. Time goes by, you grow, you climb the ranks, you’re given more responsibilities, but at the end of the day you don’t get the credit you deserve because you will, “always be seen as the assistant.” If you feel handcuffed by this, know that it’s time to move on!
“I can’t afford to quit my job!” While this may be true, financially, it’s actually just an excuse. Or maybe you’re too wrapped up emotionally, it’s been a long run together. It’s not always feasible to quit your job before you find the next one, but set a date in your mind, and imagine that you HAVE to leave your job by that date. Imagine how your life will be when you take this new position, move to this new city, or whatever the situation may call for. Visualize the situation as if you have no other option but to leave.
FIND YOUR HAPPINESS
We hate to get morbid and cliché here, but we’re all humans, and we’re not around forever. Our time is limited, and it’s precious. If your job isn’t fulfilling, then remember that there’s nothing forcing you to stay there. Get out, and find your happiness. A woman in the audience said, “no one figures out their next steps when they’re unhappy because that’s when you’re making decisions out of fear.”
Day one of your new job you may think, “this is it, this is the dream – I’ve made it.” Then, one day that feeling may fade, and that’s okay because our wants and desires in life often change. When that dream job is no longer your dream, it’s time to bounce.
KNOW YOUR TIPPING POINT
We all have different tolerance levels. Are you going to wait until you’re pushed over the edge to leave? One woman said, “my job turned me into a monster,” and that’s what it took her to leave. Another woman said, “I leaned in and I leaned in and I leaned it and I kept tripping over my freakin’ face.” Some say, “as soon as I’m uncomfortable, I’m out.” Others say they waited until they broke down and cried in their bosses offices.
IF NOTHING ELSE, REMEMBER THIS…
1. Manage, and notice, your micro-aggressions. You’ve worked hard to earn a voice, don’t let it be silenced, but don’t wait until you explode to express how you feel.
2. If you’re miserable, honestly, what is the point in sticking around?
3. Don’t feel bad about not jiving with a job.
4. Making a lot of money doesn’t make you a sell out.
5. The truth is real, and it hurts, but it’s for the best.