Things I’ve learned from losing myself


I’ve had a bit of an existential moment as of late. And by moment, I mean 2.5 years. It’s been a slow drip since the start of the pandemic and only recently became loud enough for me to pay attention and actually do something about it.

Since pivoting most of my teaching online, I’ve been able to reach so many more women and for that, I’m grateful. However, it unmoored me. To not receive the energy that comes with connecting in person, left me feeling a bit like I was shouting into the ether.

It’s like, if you speak in front of 1,000 people but you can’t see them, did it happen?

Honestly, for the past few years, I felt as if I was floating in a professional abyss. I’d done a fair amount of therapy work to build what I thought was a pretty solid foundation of self-love. So I was startled to discover how much I still craved external feedback to provide me with a sense of who I am and what I’m worth. 

Here’s the interesting part. It took me over a year to realize just how lost I truly was. For the first year and a half of the pandemic, I felt relatively energized (despite the fact that our sponsors closed their budgets and we had to completely pivot our business from offline to online.) I was in “do” mode and had forgotten how to “be.” The burnout that ensued was probably inevitable. But resting didn’t rejuvenate me. It confused me. Who was I without the hustle? The audience? The approval?

My default is to be extremely positive, to always look for the silver lining; to find the opportunity in everything. And while that’s a wonderful quality, I’ve realized that it’s also a defense mechanism against feeling bad, or quite simply, feeling my feelings. There are two major issues with this:

First, feelings don’t go away just because you ignore them. They get stored in the body and inevitably pop back up at the most inconvenient times (and often manifest in less than ideal ways.)

Second, they provide information. Information about who you are, boundaries, purpose, what moves you and what’s important to you.

However, in order to learn, you first need to listen. And man, if it wasn’t happy news, I didn’t want to hear it. I was in denial about how lost I’d become and (ironically), my fear of not knowing who I was made me afraid to look for myself. 

I set out to hear the stories of other women who reinvented themselves to see what I could learn from their journeys. And wow, did I learn! (I’ll be sharing their stories in later newsletters.) Most importantly, they reminded me of why I do this work and who I do it for. (Which is the key to staying motivated no matter your profession.)

I also realized that if I was feeling lost, perhaps others might be as well. I started to dig into the work of social scientists like Angela DuckworthCarol DweckJames Clear, Abraham MaslowNedra Glover TawwabDeepak ChopraRichard Schwartz, Bruce Hood, and Cassie Holmes. Over the past six months, I’ve distilled their teachings (among others), plus my own findings through leading Ladies Get Paid, and compiled a curriculum to help anyone feeling uninspired in their careers or confused about their future.

Enter Get Into Your Life, a 5-week virtual bootcamp that is guaranteed to change your life.

Kicking off October 26th, Get Into Your Life will give you a step-by-step plan to take command of your circumstances – no matter what they are –  and follow through to make intentional change.

Want to find a new job? Start a business? Break up with a partner? Move to a new state? Heck, even a new country?! This bootcamp is for you.

It’s also for anyone simply feeling stuck and and looking for a (loving) kick in the butt to get moving. It’s okay to not know quite yet where you’re going – I certainly don’t! – you just have to make sure you’re always putting one foot in front of the other. And of course, sometimes resting along the way 😉

I’d be honored to walk with you. Spots are limited and I don’t want you to miss your chance to enroll. Click here today!

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